The Dismissal of Mental Health in the Black Community

Warning: this post can be triggering, but we felt it important to share it exactly as the author intended it to be read.

“Hi... How are you?”

No really, ‘How are you?’ I mean deep down - emotionally and mentally, because I’m sure when people ask you this, people you for a moment thought finally noticed, but then don’t ask again when you force a mere “fine” out, are just unsure of what to say next if you truthfully said “No”.

As you take the time to delve into this paper today, I will attempt to do three things by the end of it: Diagnose our issue as a community, undo the way we think and lastly encourage change in the way we process the words ‘Mental Health’.

The black community has managed to remain so culturally connected throughout history even with our location and language differences. This has been maintained through religion, music and pop culture. Though having shared culture has kept us united, in other ways it has worked against us. For example, the popularised shared thoughts on mental illness. Mental illness is heavily stigmatised in the black community; often treated as a contagious disease, a weakness or linked solely to Obia/Juju -demonising individuals.

I am here to tell you that mental illness is not a contagious disease. It doesn’t mean you’re weak - if anything, speaking out about it in this hostile world shows your unique resilience and strength, as well as an inspiring desire to heal. And last but not least, stopping for a moment to look at other factors in one’s life such as their surroundings, circumstances and various relationships will give you all the answers as to why someone is mentally unwell.

I mean, just look at how mental health is often represented in ‘Nollywood’; anyone watching it being constantly ridiculed in this way would feel embarrassed to talk about it. Then there are reality TV shows such as ‘Love and Hip Hop’ that often glamourise and exploit the signs of its seriousness, all in the name of a trending storyline. Our media plays a huge part in enforcing negative views and approaches on the situation, making it all the more difficult for people to want to seek help.

As mental health can affect anyone, these views act as a catalyst towards social instability from interactions in society to the dysfunctions in a family.

It is clear that mental health is a taboo topic amongst us. Anyone who experiences it usually feels alienated and misunderstood. Individuals are often dismissed with phrases such as ‘Oh pray about it’.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t suggest praying about it, but when someone is going through mental stress, the idea of going back into their own head to talk to God is like walking into a booby trap. Their subconscious kicks in and before they know it, they’re not praying but fighting negative thoughts. Instead you can offer to pray aloud with them or ask them to write out their thoughts. Any exercise that can help stop them trailing back to their dark thoughts is vital.

People are also told to ‘Pull up your big girl panties’ or ‘Man up’ as if a real man is not the one admitting he has a problem.

And then there’s the ultimate dismissal of them all - being told not to speak it into existence when it already exists. Please let me explain! As a strong believer of manifestation, I know quite well how just wanting help, wanting change can manifest plenty of opportunities to heal and grow. How it can help you see things for what they truly are and can change your circumstances around completely. But how can you change your circumstances when you’ve never acknowledged the current one you’re in, in the first place? E.g. How can someone know how to improve at maths if they’ve never taken a test to know what areas of it they weren’t good at in the first place?

A lack of acknowledgement of self is ignorance and arrogance which often leads to self-destruction. Think of it as a mentally induced Gangrene of the mind.

Its consequences are detrimental, resulting in mental instability, substance abuse, self-harming or even suicide. I mean have you ever tried telling an angry person they’re angry and watched them boil in anger? Don’t they usually lack the ability to admit they have anger issues? And would you advise them to not speak their acknowledgment of this anger into existence so that it can disappear?

The fact that they don’t acknowledge their issue is the reason why they continue the way they are.

So, whilst I admire your understanding of the power of manifestation, using it in this way is incorrect.

It is important to remember that manifestation has a lot to do with energy frequencies. A low frequency radio cannot get a good signal/pick up signal from far. It needs a good antenna.

So what is your antenna? How do we heal when we are low?

You are like a plant in a dark cupboard trying to grow, so the most impactful thing you can do is change your surroundings. Surround yourself with positive, ambitious people (light). People who inspire you and lift your Spirit. If those people don’t exist right now that’s ok, there are other ways to spark change. Read self-help books, swap your music for motivational speeches on YouTube, take walks, take long breaks from social media and focus on your future.

Where do you want to be a year from now or five? Plan how you can get there.

Speak to a professional; BlackMindsMatterUK are aware of what it means to be black here in the UK and how important mental wellbeing is. The aim is to enable as many black people and families to get specialised help. Talking to a professional of the same race and sometimes even the same cultural background, or demographic opens up a lot of space for better comprehension.

Your conversations are private and confidential and what’s best is that they don’t know you personally so you don’t have to worry about what they think.

Create a space with friends and family that allows you to open up conversations about mental health.

Make it a habit to ask each other ‘Are you ok?” at random, when they look down or are going through something you know about. Make it a habit to tell them when you aren’t ok, keeping it to yourself only makes it worse (you can write it down too).

Educate one another, prod and ask questions more occasionally, normalise it to the point where you don’t even realise how much you ask. And if you’re ever faced with a dilemma you’re unsure about how to handle, research it.

“Research it and save someone’s life. Research it and save yours.”

Words written by Aduke Adeyeye