Ten Ways to Suggest Therapy to Someone You Love
Warning: this post can be triggering, but we felt it important to share it exactly as the author intended it to be read.
The purpose of this blog is to give you tips or pointers if you have a loved one who is struggling or going through difficulties and you feel that therapy might provide a useful support for them.
This blog is not for you if you feel that your loved one needs therapy in order to change a behaviour, perhaps even a behaviour that is harmful to them or to you; the important factor to consider with therapy is that the person receiving the therapy requires a willingness to engage in the therapy.
They cannot be cajoled or coerced to attend. If you find yourself cajoling or coercing someone towards therapy and they have no willingness, or insufficent willingness to engage, then it is worth you asking yourself:
'Who really needs the therapy? Me or them?'
Now I say the latter comment because in order to suggest therapy to someone, it is important to be clear about what our intentions are. So for example, if someone's behaviour is causing us distress, then it would indicate that we need support, and therapy could be a source of that support. There could well be other sources of support that an individual might find better meets their needs. Therapy can support a variety of people, but is not a choice for all. Each individual will make their own choice due to their preference and characteristics.
So as you consider the following ten ways to suggest therapy to someone you love, it is assumed that you have taken the above into consideration, that you know the certain 'someone' well, and that you have sufficient self-awareness to be making such a recommendation based on their needs, not yours.
Be direct, yet compassionate with the person you love, let them know that you feel therapy could help them. Then stop and simply listen to their response. No judgement.
Sometimes it can be difficult to hear a loved one discuss their difficulties, and difficult still to know what to do or say in response. Further it can be too much. In this case, it is sincere to simply tell them this and say that in this case, perhaps professional therapy can help.
Ask them if they feel they would benefit from talking over their problems with someone. An expert who is experienced in helping people through such difficulties. Reassure them that therapists for example, always maintain confidentiality and are experienced in helping a variety of individuals through a variety of struggles.
Ask them if they have had counselling or psychotherapy before, if so - ask them if they would or would not consider this again with either the same therapist or with someone new. They may welcome the suggestion as sometimes when we are in the depths of despair - we do not think objectively and so it may come as a surprise that a therapist could be of assistance.
Advise your loved one of one or two therapy platforms where they can source therapists. Encourage them to scroll through at their leisure to familiarise themselves of types of therapies and therapists of all walks of life. By doing this, it can help take they mystery out of 'therapy', and open up curiousity and the possibility of engaging.
Be open to engaging in conversation about therapy. If relevant, talk about your experience of engaging with therapy; what you gained from it and the impact on you, your life and your loved ones. Be honest about how it helped, how it didn't help, how well you used it, what could have been better, etc - so that your loved one can make an honest appraisal of what they can expect from therapy.
Let them know that often, therapists can have an initial chat with a potential client so that the client can get a 'feel' of the therapist and ask any questions which will help to allay any fears about therapy before they commit themselves.
Often GP surgeries can refer patients to local therapy services, so you can advise the person you love about this, and encourage them to make an appointment with their GP to enquire further.
Frame your approach to your loved one, by beginning by saying that you are worried about them and you would like to suggest therapy as a way to get immediate help that can make a difference to their quality of life over time.
There are a variety of case studies on youtube on the BACP website, plus other platforms - from people experiencing a range of difficulties who discuss how therapy helped them in their particular situation. It could be worth sitting together and reviewing these videos, in order to help your loved one get an idea of the difference therapy can make.
I hope you find the above ten approaches useful in suggesting therapy to your loved one. If you have any further questions or comments, feel free to get in touch via my website www.theworkstressbuster.co.uk
Blog written by Awele Odeh
Psychotherapist